


Paradox

by whovianawholock



Category: Sherlock (TV), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 12:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5048740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whovianawholock/pseuds/whovianawholock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is Khan, and Khan is Sherlock. He is one man living two lives. And he has to make a choice between power and happiness. But he isn't sure what happiness truly is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Sherlock sat on the couch, frowning thoughtfully.

He had come to a point where he had two choices.

He could save himself from tragedy and pain...

Or continue his existence.

\---

Khan stood motionless in his cell on the U.S.S. Enterprise.

It was time to decide.

Should he live out the rest of his long life as a lonely god?

Or should he let himself fade away?


	2. Chapter 1

_I am Khan, and I am also Sherlock Holmes. I exist in two different times, two different places, two different lives._

_But I have to make a choice._

_I have to choose between them._

_Do I stay on Earth as a mortal human man who may soon perish, but where I am content and with my closest friend?_

_Or do I choose the distant future, where I am utterly alone and despised for being a monster, but in possession of immense power, comparable to that of a deity?_

_The time for the final decision comes closer with every passing moment. I can feel it. I can feel my timelines converging, and if I don't take action, I will cease to exist in both times._

_I will be swallowed up by the very impossibility of my life._

_But do I want to continue my existence? I am unsure._

_In my life as Khan, I have suffered so much, but I could live a long life, and though I would be lonely, I could be a god._

_As Sherlock, I believe I am going to die soon. But I am not alone. I am with the only man who has ever been my friend, in either of my lives..._

_My John Watson. My doctor, my blogger, my flatmate, my friend._

_I don't know what I am going to choose. I have always enjoyed being powerful, but is that worth centuries of loneliness?_

_Truthfully, that's my greatest question. I have never really been... Happy. If I have, I don't remember what it feels like._

_Now, night is falling in one time, and dawn breaking in the other. It's time to awaken in London, and leave the remainder of my existential ponderings for later._

\---

Sherlock got out of bed with a sigh. He was never rested after sleeping. Sometimes he momentarily forgot why. He knew that the time to choose was coming soon, and he had to make his decision.

He had to figure out what happiness felt like.


	3. Chapter 2

"John, what's happiness like?" Sherlock asked. The two of them were eating breakfast.

"That's an unusual question. And not at all like you, Sherlock. Are you alright?" John asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm not sure why I asked that." Sherlock frowned. He'd been planning to ask that of someone else. Then he realized that the desynchronization of his thoughts was getting worse.

John raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He'd been worrying about Sherlock. His flatmate had been seeming increasingly confused.

Sherlock sighed and stood. "I need a case. I'm going to go speak to Lestrade."

"Good idea." John mumbled. "Want me to come with you?"

"If you want to."

"Might as well, I've got nothing better to do." John stood.

"Excellent. Let's go."

\---

"Got nothing new for you today, Holmes, sorry." Lestrade said when Sherlock asked for a case. "I've got some cold cases you could work on if you like."

"Brilliant." Sherlock said. Anything to occupy his mind.

Lestrade hefted a large cardboard box onto his desk. "Here ya go."

Sherlock tried to lift it but nearly fell over.

John chuckled and lifted it easily. "I've got it."

"Thank you."

"Honestly Sherlock, I don't know what you'd do without me." John commented as he carried the box to the cab.

"Nor do I..." Sherlock whispered thoughtfully.


	4. Chapter 3

"You wanted to see me, Khan?" Commander Spock said as he entered the room where Khan's cell was located.

"Yes, I did. I have a... philosophical issue I'd like to discuss with you. But first, I need an objective, non-emotional, unbiased opinion on something." Khan said. "I'd like you to tell me what you believe happiness is."

Spock thought for a very long moment. "By the definition of some people, happiness would be contentment with one's situation and circumstances. It could be having something one has always desired. It could be having just what one needs, only survival. Or it could be satisfaction that though life is not perfect, one has gotten themselves as close as possible, however long that may last."

Khan nodded after awhile. "Excellent. Now, for my philosophical question. I'd like some purely logical input, and I decided to make the best of my imprisonment and receive it from a Vulcan. The question is this- if you could choose to either be powerful and alone or weak and nearing death but in the company of a good friend, which would you choose? Which is logical?"

This took Spock a minute that felt like eons. "It depends on one's personal definition of happiness, I would assume. I don't think I can help with your hypothetical conundrum, Khan. Is there anything else you need?"

He sighed. "No. Leave me."

Spock left at once, clearly not wanting to be near Khan.

\---

_I'm going to die._

_Well, to be accurate, Sherlock is going to die. I'm going to die as Sherlock._

_The time is getting closer and closer. I need to make a decision, and soon._

_And I think I know what I'll choose._


	5. Chapter 4

_I'm glad I made my decision. As Sherlock I'm so busy with Moriarty._

_But I always knew how that would end. I need a loophole. And I might have figured it out._

_And I'm glad I did, because it's nearly time for Moriarty to pay me what is due._

_He does, after all, owe me._

\---

'Come and play. Bart's Hospital rooftop.

SH'

Sherlock typed quickly and sent the message. Then another.

'PS. Got something of yours you might want back.'

He knew it was nearly time, and he knew what he had to do. And now that he had a way out, he wouldn't hesitate. It wasn't an ideal situation, but loopholes never really are, are they?

Before long, he got a reply from Moriarty.

'I'm waiting...

JM'

The detective stood and ascended to the roof.

It was time for the end.

\---

Sherlock stood on the ledge of the roof. Moriarty had threatened the death of his friends if he didn't jump.

Slowly, Sherlock started chuckling. Then louder.

Moriarty whirled around. "What's so funny? What do you know that I don't?!"

Sherlock jumped down from the ledge back to the roof and stood before the consulting criminal. "Oh, so much."

"You can't. Nah. You're ordinary. You're so ordinary." He scoffed.

"I am so far from ordinary. Farther even than you. I doubt you could truly comprehend the nature of my existence."

"Oh, that's pretty cocky coming from a man who's about to kill himself."

"I am better. I could have had the power of a god, and instead I chose to be here."

"Oh, Sherlock, I thought you didn't like riddles." Moriarty taunted.

"It's no riddle. But that's besides the point. I don't have to jump, do I? Not if I have you."

"Oh, but you and I both know that's not how this ends. Why try and change it?"

"I don't know, I thought it might be worth a try." Sherlock said with a smirk.

"Well you failed." Jim offered a smirk in return before drawing a gun from his pocket.


	6. Chapter 5

Moriarty lay still on the concrete rooftop, head topped by a crown of red.

Sherlock stepped up to the ledge and called John.

He was only vaguely aware of what he was saying, though he made sure to say the right things.

He was focused on his other life. On Khan. There was one last thing he needed.

He finally managed to grab it and pull it into this life. "Goodbye, John." He whispered into the phone. He hung up and tossed the phone to the ground.

Sherlock Holmes spread his arms and let himself fall.

\---

_I can't bear this. Watching John speak to my tombstone._

_But I have to._

_I chose this life, and that means I have to wait. I have to wait until they've all forgotten about Sherlock Holmes, the fake genius, the fraudulent detective._

_Then I can return to him._

_Will he hate me? Possibly. But I knew that when I made my choice. I accepted that risk._

_I managed to take something from my other life before I ended its existence._

_Khan is gone now. But I took just enough of his power to keep myself alive. Truly I doubted it would work. But it did._

_And now I must wait._


End file.
